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Hesandi Jayasekara

Members' Room: season by season, reason by reason by hesandi jayasekara

This is a poignant piece set around the themes of hopelesness and loss that remains when you cling on to a relationship that has outgrown both of its participants. If any of you wish to publish your work in our blog, anyone can submit using our letterbox feature here on ICWS online.


season by season, reason by reason

by hesandi jayasekara


1.


so it's winter, and we're lying next to each other, huddled for warmth but with the distance between us like a chasm that can't be filled with anything but words, words that never make it out of our mouths. so it's winter, and your gaze is frosty, like it could shatter me in half even if i try to interject in your tirade, the wordless helpless disbelief that surrounds us becoming suffocating.


so it's winter, and the cold surrounds us.


2.


so it's spring, for new beginnings, and we wonder if this is it for us⁠ - stolen moments of laughter that freezes in our faces, of that seems-to-be warmth. so it's spring, and when we kiss, it seems like it'll be fine, for a moment, until the veneer shatters like an overturned snowglobe, thick glass shards that make you wince as soon as you step on them.


so it's spring, and i say please don't step on them, my love, my dear, my darling⁠ ⁠-

but you do.


we both do.


3.


so it's summer, of ignited passion that lights up in our souls like a firework, that abruptly grows cold when it enters the air, dropping with a sad crackle on the ground like so many disappointed feelings. so it's summer, and the leaves rustle, the air's warm, and we should be warm too⁠ -


4.


⁠- but we're not. have we ever been?


so it's fall, and it's time to give up.



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